How do I handle my husband's ex who is meddlesome? Crazy even.?

Wow..that situation would be way too uncomfortable for me and the ball really falls into your husbands hands. I suggest you get yourself a good job, a nice apartment, about 8 miles away and file for a temporary separation until your husband gets his act together. You don't have to tolerate disrespectful acts, distractions or behavior in your own house. That includes why is your husband chatting with his ex. Chatting days are over unless something else is going on. Thats too much stress on you and the kids, the baby...If you have a relative see if you can temporarily stay with them. Otherwise you will be dealing with his ex for the rest of your life. Next thing you know she'll go from seeing t.v. to sleeping in your room. I don't think its cool that he lives 3 miles away. That is way too convenient. I would file an order of protection against her and tell her she is no longer welcome in my home. That the husband should meet with the kids in an open public area - no home visits. She also uses you as a babysitter by just dropping him off. Dont let her do that. You are not her babysitter. Say...take him to his father - you can't drop him off here when you feel like it. Don't even open the door. Anyway good luck.